PORNOGRAPHY – THE SILENT KILLER (Part 1)
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David Herbert Richards Lawrence, the English essayist with a knack
for confronting issues relating to emotional health and vitality, makes a valid
observation about the subject matter: “The
whole question of pornography seems to me a question of secrecy. Without
secrecy there would be no pornography. But secrecy and modesty are two utterly
different things. Secrecy has always an element of fear in it, amounting very
often to hate. Modesty is gentle and reserved. Today, modesty is thrown to the
winds, even in the presence of the grey guardians. But secrecy is hugged, being
a vice in itself.”
There are subjects that some would advocate are better left
undiscussed. I bet whether such subjects would ever go away. It appears to be
following us everywhere we find ourselves. It seems there is an inverse
relationship between our advancement as a society and the moral decadence that
pervades every fibre of our setup. We appear to be using our developments to
ebb away the lines of morality and pushing the boundaries to accept what would
have been flagrant a few decades ago. Our quest for modernity has given
rise to a group of people who having no moral conscience themselves have now
assumed the reins to dictate and define what morality embraces.
Today, the issue of pornography receives my attention and rightly
so. In writing this article, I am neither assuming a moral high ground nor
adopting a sententious stance but rightly bringing a valid discussion up. I am
in indubitable acquiescence with the position that because of the secrecy that
is attached to this canker, pornography has and continues to be a silent
killer. People would rather shy away from discussing it and seeking genuine
help even when it is obvious they are in bondage without a clue of how to break
away from its grip. Such people prefer to
die in secret from the sting of what they initially perceived as supposedly
being innocuous.
My readings suggest that it is a problem that both the old and
young are all struggling with. It appears not to be a respecter of titles or
classes either. Its secret nature makes it very difficult to discern who has
the problem. The desire for indecent images is very strong in some as evidenced
by a chartered accountant in a bank who was caught live on air looking at a
topless model during working hours. One wonders what such a person would look
at in the comfort of his home away from any prying eyes.
It used to be that indecent images which could best be described
as a form of pornography were only confined to certain places. This is no
longer the case with such indecent images becoming a perpetual feature
everywhere one finds him or herself; even in our churches. Some young women
dress up in such a way that one wonders whether they are in church to find men or
are there to worship God. The house of God used to be a sanctuary to find some
‘peace’. In the days that we live in, there are cleavages and more on show like
no man’s business. One sees clothes that carry enough potency to metamorphose
the love of God into the lust for the flesh. Such indecency is only a prognosis
for prurience. Is that the price we are paying for embracing the good, the bad
and the ugly?
For the purpose of this piece, pornography is described as
writings, pictures, films, etc, designed to stimulate sexual excitement. It
also includes the production of such material. Another dictionary defines
pornography as obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, especially
those having little or no artistic merit. It is interesting how the dictionary
attempts to distinguish pornography from art. It comes therefore as no surprise
that currently, some people are enjoying pornography under the guise of art
appreciation. Mason Cooley rightly observed that: “The nudes of art are not so
distant from pornography as prudish pedants pretend”.
Justice Potter Stewart in concurring opinion, on the case
Jacobellis v. Ohio,1964, made an interesting remark: "I shall not today
attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced
within that shorthand description [hard-core pornography]; and perhaps I could
never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the
motion picture involved in this case is not that." [U.S. Supreme Court].
The interesting thing about pornography is that you know it when you see it no
matter how well disguised it appears to be. Irrespective of the tag placed on
it, people whose conscience have not yet been seared, can still decipher
pornography in whatever form, kind or shape it may be packaged; overtly or
covertly.
Pornography has and continues to incessantly gnaw away the fibres
of morality in our society. It has evolved over and over again that now we have
two major classes of pornography; soft and hard. I doubt whether we can ever
mention all the sub-classes that exists. My conscience would not permit me to
present graphic and vivid examples of the classes to satisfy the lust of some.
J.G. Ballard quips that: “A widespread taste for pornography means
that nature is alerting us to some threat of extinction.” I am not sure that
there is really a threat to extinction, but surely there is a prevalent taste
for pornography today; the type that is disguised and packaged in a way and
manner to get the attention of even the most sacrosanct of men.
In times like these, it is not difficult to find respected and
adored men and women who fan a secret lust for indecent images. What they
forget is that every dog has its day and the sooner they confront this habit,
the better. An inquisition would not struggle to unearth pornographic materials
on millions of computers and mobile phones not to talk about stashes in
unexpected places. The prevalence of this canker may be explained by Michael
Chabon’s quote that: “It's very difficult to fail at pornography”.
The proliferation of pornographic materials is on the ascendancy
and does not look like abating any time soon if ever. The ease of its
acquisition, whether solicited or unsolicited not to mention how cheap it is,
has served to further augment this problem making it commonplace.
The lure of pornography is that it generates ephemeral pleasure
and buzz. It is the one thing that fans voyeurism in its purest form and
transmutates ordinary feelings by enabling individuals to transport themselves
into a delusional nirvana with either a click of the mouse or the turn of a
page. What most patrons say in justification for this act is that ‘no one gets
hurt’. Camille Paglia amongst others, only seek to provide reasons to support
such vice, with arguments that: “Pornography is human imagination in tense
theatrical action; its violations are a protest against the violations of our
freedom by nature.” This has only given a license to some to further delve
deeper in such acts. This is an illusion that has only hastened the destruction
of many. Such people forget that although
it may feel good now, its ‘benefit’ if any, pale in comparison to the lasting
and damaging effects it leaves in its wake.
Psychologist Gary R. Brooks writing in his book The Centerfold
Syndrome, identifies five principal symptoms of what he describes as a
“pervasive disorder” linked to consumption of soft-core pornography. He
mentions these symptoms as: Voyeurism; Objectification; Validation; Trophyism;
and Fear of true intimacy.
Professors Dolf Zillman of Indiana University and Jennings Bryant
of the University of Houston found that repeated exposure to pornography
results in a decreased satisfaction with one's sexual partner, with the
partner's sexuality, with the partner's sexual curiosity, a decrease in the
valuation of faithfulness and a major increase in the importance of sex without
attachment.
A study conducted by Dr. Reo Christensen of Miami University in
Oxford, Ohio, found that pornography leaves the impression with its viewers
that sex has no relationship to privacy; that it is unrelated to love,
commitment or marriage; that bizarre forms of sex are the most gratifying; that
sex with animals has an especially desirable flavour; and that irresponsible
sex has no adverse consequences.
According to the book Media, Children, and the Family: Social
Scientific, Psychodynamic, and Clinical Perspectives, research has shown that
sexual arousal and accompanying excitement diminish with repeated exposure to
sexual scenes. As exposure to commonly shown sexual activities leaves consumers
relatively unexcited, they are likely to seek out pornography that features
novel and potentially less common sexual acts.
Pornography leads to addiction, misogyny, paedophilia, boob jobs
and erectile dysfunction. Homosexuality, rape and abuse are just a few of the
many possible activities that pornography promotes. Pornography trains us to practice lust
and live in a fantasy world. As a result, we burn with a lust that drives us to
seek gratification. The memories resulting from our pornographic activities can
last a lifetime and damage our ability to enjoy sex in our marriage. Pornography can also lead us down the
destructive path of perversion. Its addicts have a more difficult time
recovering as pornographic images stay in the brain forever.
Pornography has and continues to wreck marriages. Spouses are
today viewing materials that are ‘unwholesome’ and expecting their partners to
measure up both in appearance and performance. They are gradually getting a
warped and distorted view from the influence of such materials. Pornography
finally succeeds in giving them a view of human beings as sex objects. Objects
meant to be ‘used’ and dumped. D.H. Lawrence rightly notes that: “Pornography
is the attempt to insult sex, to do dirt on it.”
The pain and feeling of loss when spouses find out that their
partners are addicted to pornography, thrusts them into a state of visible
shock. It has led some spouses to even consider
divorce. Rita Mae Brown contends
that: “Pornography exists for the lonesome, the ugly, the fearful - It's made
for the losers”. For
addicts, sooner rather than later your cup would be full and your addiction
would come to light. When that happens, the resentment, bitterness, rejection
and anger your spouse would feel towards you would be unappeasable and will
inflict a perpetual damage on trust in your relationship. It could take years for
you to re-learn how to love your spouse in a loving way as you try to eliminate
the stranglehold lust has had on you through becoming tuned for such lust
through pornography.
Young people (both men and women) have and continue to feast their
eyes on material that do not edify in anyway form or shape. Such material
provides them with an environment to have their own form of enjoyment. What
begins for most young people as curiosity ends up being an addiction that
becomes hard to break. Proverbs
6:27 asks an important question that is worth considering: “Can a man
scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?”
Pornography is a canker that we all need to take a stand against.
I agree with Susan Sontag that: “What pornography is really about, ultimately,
isn’t sex but death.” My position is that whatever environment you find
yourself in, the buck stops with you. You are responsible for yourself. No
multitudinous excuses for why you are falling prey to this vice would suffice.
I shall return in Part 2 with some suggestions (for both captives and victims)
on how to deal with pornography. I shall also address institutions and
purveyors that are exploiting the vice for what it is at the peril of their
consumers. In a nutshell, pornography
is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. I hope this piece proves a respite
for anyone suffering in secret. As always, I would like to hear from you
whether you agree or disagree with my views. Just send me a mail and I would
reply accordingly.
Dr.
Frank Robert Silverson is the author of articles like Gambling - Addiction or
Choice (Parts 1-4), Contemplations of an extra-marital affair: a didactic
(Parts 1-3), The Ultimate Leak, and Free Press or Foolishness. He is currently
working on Pornography – The Silent Killer (Part 2), Churches – Commerce or
Compassion (Parts 1&2), The Verdant Chalice (Parts 1&2), and
Politicians - Machiavellians or Messiahs (Parts 1&2) soon to be published.
Email: frsilverson@yahoo.com
